Gring, gring, “Hello, this is your home girl Sharon, your love doctor. How may I help you this evening?” I asked. “Is this Sharon the love doctor? Please, I need your advice on … my boyfriend.
He is a good kisser but …, I love my girlfriend but …, my husband is super in bed but …, my wife is beautiful and well-mannered but … and I am in love with a woman/man but … and so on. Please I need your honest advice.” This is all I hear thrice a week at the other end of the phone in my 30 minutes programme which I anchor. I feel so good and fulfilled when I’m able to advise and proffer solutions to my numerous callers and fans on their relationship and marital problems. It gladdens my heart when I get responses that they have been able to resolve their differences and get back together. As a love doctor, I thought I had it going well for me in my relationship with Gilbert, ‘my boyfriend’.
This is my story. Gilbert and I have been friends for the past four years. We met at a cyber café where incidentally we were both applying for jobs online. We sat close to each other and it happened that we were both applying for the same position in an advertising and public relations company. We started a tête-à-tête and from there, we became friends. We kept in touch and three weeks later, we were among those called for interview. I did not pass the interview but he did. He kept encouraging me not to relent in my search for a job. About three months later, I was opportune to freelance for a print medium, but I preferred to work in a radio or television station (broadcast) presenting a programme.
Luckily, that opportunity came sooner than expected - a job with a radio station and came up with the idea of presenting a relationship programme I called, “Talk with the love doctor.” Gilbert and I are always too busy but we try to find time to spend with each other at weekends. It was either we go to the cinema, events or eat out. We will talk about everything and catch up on the days we were apart, and some times he gives me idea on topics for discussion for my programme which I greatly appreciate.
One thing I am sure of is that he never misses my programme even when he is at work. I always had the urge to ask him about us but somehow, I could not. I have always told people on my programme to define their relationships but I guess I did not do that in mine. I could remember in one of my programmes where about four men called just to ask me out on a lunch date. I told them I don’t have lunch with my fans, but when they insisted, I asked them to call me after the programme. My God, after the programme, Gilbert called me and said, “How could you accept to go on a lunch date with your fans?” I explained that I told them so that they don’t eat into my time.
“Gilbert, I didn’t want them to eat into my programme time. If you must know, they don’t have my number, so they can’t call my direct number.” He then calmed down. With this, I thought I had a clear answer about us. It totally allayed my doubts and I thanked God that we are on the same page. In the almost five years we have been together, I have never seen or hear him talk about another woman and he too has never seen or hear me talk about another woman.
When he wanted to get his apartment, he asked me which area I would love to live and I said Ikeja. He got a three-bedroom apartment there and asked me to decorate and furnish it to my taste. I was really happy to hear him tell me this, “Sharon you are the woman here, decorate and furnish the house to your taste. I will give you enough money to do this.”
In less than three weeks, everything was in place. From the sitting room to the kitchen were tastefully decorated. I thought with the apartment ready, he would soon propose so we can start our wedding plans. Three months later, Gilbert told me something that totally shattered my emotions: “Sharon, I just want to say a big thank you for being a very good friend over the years.
You will always be special and dear to me but you see my fiancée is coming back into the country in two weeks from today so that we can start planning our wedding. When she comes, I would want you to be friends with her. Would you do that for me?” I was astonished. “Did I hear you say fiancée? What have I been to you all these years?” I enquired in tears.
“Sharon, I never asked you out. I see you as a very intelligent and special woman. Have you ever asked yourself why we have never kissed nor slept together? It was because I never wanted to cheat on my woman.” He told me. “So why didn’t you tell me you had a fiancée for almost five years that we have been together?” I asked. He told me I never asked him because I assumed we were dating. I was devastated. Gilbert told me God would bring a good man my way and very soon too. I just picked up my handbag and left.
I have not seen him ever since that day although he has been calling my phone. But I have refused to pick his call. I hear his fiancée is in the country and their wedding plans are in top gear. It is like a movie to me. I have chased away many potential husbands because of Gilbert. How and where do I start from at age 30? Please, the love doctor needs your advice.
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