Monday, October 3, 2011

‘We’re medically incompatible but bound by an oath’

I actually don’t know where to start my story from. But I know Mandy and I are in this mess because of my jealousy years ago. This was how it all started.



My name is Chester. Mandy and I have been dating for about eights years now. Both families knew about our relationship and there was no doubt that we would get married when we are ready to settle down. Precisely in the fifth year of our relationship, I had gone to visit Mandy at home when I saw her with two young men and her other siblings.



Mandy hardly noticed my presence the three hours I was with them. She was so engrossed with the two men, especially the one called Anthony. They talked and whispered into each other’s ear occasionally as if they were lovers. I was not too comfortable but I had to behave like a man - hide my jealousy. I partook in all the discussions from politics to football, played games and even had lunch together.



All the time we were all together, Mandy did not introduce me to the young men and that bothered me so much. “Mandy did not introduce me to these guys. Am I not presentable enough or is there something she is hiding?” I asked myself. For the first time, I did not get any attention from Mandy, this was usual.



I left them there and went home; she just saw me off to the doorstep, gave me a hug and promised to call me later in the evening. I waited for her call but she did not and because I was so angry and jealous, I refused to call her either even though I was dying to hear her voice and was anxious to know who those guys were. While contemplating whether to call Mandy or not, I did not know when I slept off.



I dreamt that Mandy was walking down the aisle with Anthony in a grand style and when I accosted her that I was the right man for her, she told me she thought she loved me but sincerely she does not and was sure I am not man enough for her. While I was pleading with her not to leave me, my alarm rang. I was sweating profusely when I woke up. “God, what kind of dream is this? Is Mandy really planning to leave me?” I put aside the dream and got ready for work. At about 7:30 a.m. Mandy called me and apologised that she slept off. That day at work, I couldn’t concentrate because I was really disturbed by the dream.



At about 3:00 p.m., I called Mandy and told her I would take her home after work and she said that was a good idea. “Mandy dear, I would take you home after work so please wait for me.” “That is a good idea. I will wait for you,” she said. At exactly 6:10 p.m., I was at her office and as we drove to her house, I took the opportunity to ask her who Anthony was. She told me he was a childhood friend and an ex-boyfriend.



She explained to me that she broke up with him after she caught him cheating on her with her best friend. “Anthony is my ex- boyfriend. I broke up with him after I caught him in bed with my best friend. He suddenly travelled out of the country and we lost contact. To be honest, we saw each other again for the first time after 12 years the day you met him in my house.”



“Mandy, do you still love him?” I asked. “No, but he is still my friend,” she reminded me. It was very transparent that Anthony was still in love with her even if Mandy did not see. But I am a man so I know. I was so scared that she may leave me at any time, so three days later, I suggested that we took an oath to be together forever.



At first, she vehemently refused and told me it was absurd. “Chester, this is absurd. Where did you get this idea from? Is it because of Anthony? Whether you believed it or not, I love you dearly and I do not have to prove it by taking an oat. Just forget it,” she retorted. It almost cost me my relationship with Mandy but I knew she would give in. I just needed to give her some time because she loves me so much.



She refused to talk to me for more than two weeks. One Friday evening, she called to inform she would spend the weekend at my place so that we would have the opportunity to talk things out. I felt it was a pleasant idea. The weekend was splendid. Mandy agreed to take the oath if that would allay my fear about leaving me for Anthony or any other man. I cut our right thumbs with a new blade, with blood coming out.



We pressed it against each other’s hand and said one after the other, “As long as I alive, I will marry you. If I marry another, I should die. The only thing that would separate us is death.” I thought this act would keep us together for life until a few weeks back. We both decided that it was time to settle down and live happily ever after until we were asked to go for a series of medical tests as it is one of the requirements to get married in her parents’ church. However, we were told the particular hospital to go for the test.



We went to the hospital with the sealed envelope we were given from the church. We saw the Chief Medical Director who asked us to go to the laboratory where we will be attended to. Our blood sample was taken and at the end, we were told that the result would be sent to the pastoral unit of the church. Three days later, I received a phone call from the head pastor to come with Mandy to the church that evening.



When we got there, he informed us that we cannot get married based on medical grounds. “Pastor, what did you just say? What is the outcome of the test?” I asked. “Pastor, please talk to us. At least tell us why we can’t get married,” Mandy pleaded. “My dear brethren the outcome of the test is that your genotype is both AS. If you get married, you would only bring children into this world that would suffer. Do you want to give birth to sicklers?” He asked. “No, that is not possible. God, why?” screamed Mandy. He told us that he would call our parents and inform them of the new development.



However, he advised that it was better we thought of calling off the wedding to avoid future crisis. A week later, Mandy and her parents came over to my house to see my parents about the medical report. We all sat in our sitting room and her father said, “I am sure we all know why we are here. No doubt Mandy and Chester love each other dearly but after due medical consultation my wife and I have concluded that this wedding should be called off for the sake of their unborn children.



What do you people think?” “I agree with you because we have thought over it too. I know they are fond of each other but you just spoke my mind,” said my father. Both parents counselled us that we could still remain friends but must move on with our lives. We both agreed but we knew it was not going to be easy.



“God, my dream has finally come to reality. Mandy is finally taken away from me,” I told myself. But then, I remembered the oath we took. “What will happen to us because the oath was to be together for forever?” Mandy came to see me in the office two days later and immediately she entered into my office, she pulled me close and asked, “Chester, what about the oath we took? What do we do? I don’t really care if our genotype is AS or SS; all I want is to be your wife. What do you want?” When she asked what I wanted, I became weak and stupid because I was responsible for this mess.



“Honestly Mandy, I don’t know anymore. As for the oath, I thought you would leave me for Anthony that was why I insisted. Now, you still cannot be my wife. O God, what have I done?” I cried. Although the wedding had been called off but we both insisted that we must get married. The question on every one’s lips is that why?



Do we tell our parents about the oath? God they would be so disappointed or do we marry different people and both die, or better still, get married, bring sicklers into the world and allow them to suffer? As I write this piece, Mandy is already a wreck and I am totally confused. What do we do?

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